{"id":199,"date":"2022-06-30T10:24:54","date_gmt":"2022-06-30T10:24:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scltraining-sa.co.za\/?p=199"},"modified":"2022-06-30T10:24:56","modified_gmt":"2022-06-30T10:24:56","slug":"coaching-for-growth","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scltraining-sa.co.za\/index.php\/2022\/06\/30\/coaching-for-growth\/","title":{"rendered":"Coaching for Growth"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

by Marshall Goldsmith and Patricia Wheeler<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The best coaching advice you\u2019ll ever receive in life comes from a wise old person. Listen carefully: First, take a deep breath. Now, imagine that you are 95 years old and about to die. Before you take your last breath, you are given a wonderful, beautiful gift: the ability to travel back in time and talk with the person you are today. The 95-year-old you has the chance to help the you of today to have a great career and a great life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The 95-year-old you knows what was really important and what wasn\u2019t; what really mattered and what didn\u2019t; what really counted and what didn\u2019t count at all. What advice does the wise \u2018old you\u2019 have for you? Take your time. Jot down the answers on two levels: personal advice and professional advice. And once you write down these words, take them to heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In a world of performance appraisals, this may well be the one that matters most. At the end of life, if the old you thinks that you did the right thing, you probably did. If the old you thinks that you screwed up, you probably did. At the end of life, you don\u2019t have to impress anyone else\u2013just the person you see in the mirror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Four Recurring Themes
When a friend once talked with old people facing death and asked them what advice they would have given themselves, their answers were filled with wisdom\u2013and four themes: 1. Take time to reflect on life and find happiness and meaning now. A frequent comment runs along these lines: \u2018I got so wrapped up in looking at what I didn\u2019t have that I missed what I did have. I had almost everything. I wish I had taken more time to appreciate it.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Look to the present. The great disease of \u2018I will be happy when \u2026.. is sweeping the world. You know the symptoms. You start thinking: I\u2019ll be happy when I get that . . . BMW . . .promotion . . . status . . . money. The only way to cure the disease is to find happiness and meaning now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Don\u2019t get so lost in pleasing the people who don\u2019t care that you neglect the people who do\u2013your friends and family. You may work for a wonderful company and believe that your contribution is important. But when you\u2019re 95 and on your death bed, very few of your fellow employees will be waving goodbye! Your friends and family will likely be the only people who care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Give it a try\u2013follow your dreams. Older people who tried to achieve their dreams were happier with their lives. None of us will ever achieve all of our dreams. If we do, we will just make up new ones! If we go for it, we can at least say at the end, \u2018I tried!\u2019 instead of, \u2018Why didn\u2019t I at least try?\u2019 When we interview high-potential leaders worldwide and ask them: \u2018If you stay in this company, why will you stay?\u2019, we hear the same answers: \u2018I\u2019m finding meaning and happiness now.\u2019 \u2018The work is exciting, and I love what I am doing.\u2019 \u2018I like the people here. They are my friends. This feels like a team\u2013like a family. I might make more money if I left, but I don\u2019t want to leave the people here.\u2019 \u2018I can follow my dreams. This organization gives me the chance to grow and do what I really want to do in life.\u2019 To make a new beginning in life or in your leadership, look ahead to the end and then decide what to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Growing Into Success<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Why do some people reach their creative potential early while equally talented peers don\u2019t? We\u2019ve all seen the near-misses: people who have talent to spare but never quite make it; and those, like the tortoise in Aesop\u2019s fable, who enjoy eventual success that once seemed out of reach to most observers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you believe you are born with all the smarts and gifts you\u2019ll ever have, you tend to approach life with a fixed mind-set. However, those who believe that their abilities can expand over time live with a growth mind-set\u2013and they\u2019re much more innovative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As coaches, we encounter people who have a stellar track record, off-the chart IQ, great technical expertise, and a track history of success\u2013but who then reach a career plateau. In contrast, we work with individuals who, despite a rather pedestrian early track record, lack of Ivy League pedigree, surpass those who appear to be the \u2018chosen ones.\u2019 How does this happen\u2013 and what can you do about it? This is good news for those who do not grow up feeling chosen or special.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Feeling much more like the tortoise than the hare, you may stumble along while others seem to sail through life easily and successfully\u2013or so it seems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In reality, the pampered and pedigreed are often the ones who stumble, due to adopting a fixed mindset. We\u2019ve all seen folks who were tapped as stars early in life. Cheered on by doting, praise-lavishing parents, they develop the sense that their talents are God given qualities that they can count on for future success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s the problem with this? They feel entitled to succeed and become risk avoidant, fearing the embarrassment of failure. They deal with obstacles by giving up, feigning disinterest or blaming others. Or, having enjoyed so many early wins, they keep on doing what made them successful, despite all the changes around them\u2013not a great recipe for ongoing success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mark was a bright, results-oriented VP in his company and yet he offended his peers with his brusque style and impatience. His manager doubted that he could, or would, change. And Mark had no patience with fluff. He needed a clear business case for making any behavior change. Once he understood that listening more and increasing his patience would lead to better buy-in from others and improve his department\u2019s product, he embraced the change enthusiastically. Mark implemented his development plan diligently with great results\u2013to the astonishment of his manager.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What propelled Mark\u2019s progress? He embraced a mindset of growth. Never a natural star or charismatic presence, he\u2019s a regular guy who approached challenges with curiosity and saw roadblocks as signs that he needed to change strategy, increase effort, stretch himself, or try new behaviors (high emotional intelligence).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In our early meetings, Mark took a learner\u2019s approach to his 360-degree feedback. Although surprised with the negatives, he didn\u2019t deflect or blame his stakeholders. Although a very private man, he faced his fear of disclosing more about himself to others to enhance his leadership. In other words, he embraced the possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can adopt an attitude that enables you to grow and change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

First, listen to yourself\u2013to the internal music and lyrics that you hear inside your head? Are you telling yourself to give up? That your challenges are the fault of others, less wonderful, less \u2018enlightened\u2019 people? Or do you tell yourself that you can figure out what abilities you need to grow or stretch toward to succeed? These belief systems are the underpinning of the success\u2013and failure\u2013of many.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Second, create a regular time and space to reflect on who you are\u2013your beliefs, your vision, your inner dialogue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This will be unfamiliar and uncomfortable for those who value speed and are used to a track record of stardom. My advice: do it anyway.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, find a partner to serve as \u2018spotter\u2019 and dialogue partner as you grow. This could be a trusted colleague or an experienced executive coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They\u2019ll help you leverage your strengths and stay out of the way of your blind spots.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recently, Mark described how he now observed patterns in meetings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Now that I know myself better,\u2019 he said, \u2018I see how other people use different behaviors to manage stress. I\u2019m less impatient with them because I know what they\u2019re trying to do, and I don\u2019t let it get to me.\u2019 In fact, Mark now uses his new knowledge in developing and mentoring others. His department is delivering results more effectively, and other leaders are asking him and his team to participate in highly visible and strategic projects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what started out as a simple self-improvement project by an ordinary guy has turned into a big win for his company\u2013largely because he has a mindset of growth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

pieter@futureexecutives.co.za<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE by Marshall Goldsmith and Patricia Wheeler The best coaching advice you\u2019ll ever receive in life comes from a wise old person. Listen carefully: First, take a deep breath. Now, imagine that you are 95 years old and about to die. Before you take your last breath, you are given a wonderful, beautiful gift: the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-199","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","entry"],"yoast_head":"\nCoaching for Growth - Stakeholder Centered Leadership Training<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/scltraining-sa.co.za\/index.php\/2022\/06\/30\/coaching-for-growth\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Coaching for Growth - Stakeholder Centered Leadership Training\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"LEADERSHIP EXCELLENCE by Marshall Goldsmith and Patricia Wheeler The best coaching advice you\u2019ll ever receive in life comes from a wise old person. 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